April 30, 2008
Many of my readers and e-mail contacts had varying opinions about the FLDS situation in Texas. In order to prove I still have my sick sense of humor, here we go . . .
Top 9 Things A 13 Year Old FLDS Girl Occupies Her Mind With While Her 50+ Year Old Husband Violates Her
9. Tries to decide if she wants to decorate her after death celestial planet Colonial or American Traditional.
8. Plays connect the dots with her husband’s liver spots.
7. Wonders why her husband always confuses her name with the dog’s.
6. Tries to remember if it was the third wife’s fourth child, or the fourth wife’s third child who had the peanut allergy.
5. Contemplates why her brothers always called her “Uterus” rather than her given name of “Eunice”.
4. Prays to Elohim that that mole on her husband’s back is cancerous.
3. Decides to dress as a Temple Elder for the annual masquerade party and wear the secret underwear.
2. Wonders if the rumors about endowed black men are true, and if that’s why they were originally classified as subhuman to keep them from getting all the women folk.
And the Number One thing she busies her mind with while having relations with her husband:
She fantasizes about this guy.
Again, Detective Ed Soares of the East Palo Alto Police Department
I actually have a lot of compassion towards the travesty that occurred in the Texas FLDS compound. Click here to read.
Feel free to add your own in the comments. Maybe I’ll go pray now.